Taking A Look Back...

Into the last year.

Honestly, it's kind of scary to look back and see what's happened within the last year. People have changed, have matured, some people aren't even in my life anymore. People that I thought would be there for a long time. I guess that's the funny thing about life. You can think all you want about what's going to happen, but you'll never really know for sure until it does. It's always full of surprises. As cliche as that sounds, it's absolutely true. A year ago I hung out with two of the most amazing girls ever (L.P & E.R), "E" and I were stuck in the same boat. Thinking about our ex's, missing them, you know, all that stuff. "L" was with a guy, but was she REALLY happy?

Now I'm with someone totally completely amazing, someone 9203420934823 times better than I ever thought I could have, and I love it. I love my life because of him. He's been a great grrrrreat influence, and just an absolutely sweet person. It's so funny because I never in a million years thought I would have met someone like him. But I mean, look at my life now. After getting kicked out and not graduating, I'm 2500 miles from home and loving it. He's helped me with so much, and I don't think he knows how much I appriciate all that he has done for me. I love him and would never ever ever give him up for anything (EVER!!!!). I was so close to just saying "fuck it" and not really trying to better myself at all. I was so sick and tired of being pushed around and thrown down and stomped all over by everyone around me. It was tiring, stressful and honestly had a really negative effect on my self esteem. But now I'm getting to be happy with the person I am, and I'm realizing who is worth my time, and who ISN'T.

Then I look at my two friends. Both in relationships that I THINK they never thought would happen. It's so great though, to see everyone the way they are right now, seriously I think we're all the happiest we've ever been. I know I am.

Over all it's just crazy to see how much I've grown up. How much I've learned and gone through and realized. People change, you know? And once they've changed it's really hard to get them back to be the person they were. And some people change for the worst, I've seen it. But you know what? You have to learn when to just walk away. You can't be hurting yourself because you want the person they were back. Maybe in time things will happen, maybe start fresh. But honestly, life is so short. I don't want to regret a single thing I do, or have done. And so far, I don't.

This was really random. I know. But you know.. I'm just rambling and passing time.

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