Nonononono.

I'm not a happy camper today. I'm tired, achy, and I want to cry my brains out. Luckily I can hold back. For now. I'm not sure what the real deal is. I'm starting to think it's a bunch of things. I swear sometimes I'm needy, but I'm not sure if it's for real. Maybe I really am just not getting what I need to be getting. I don't know. How am I supposed to? All I know is that it's bothering the living daylights out of me and I can't stop thinking about it. I miss the messages and conversations. That's not what I want. I want it to be said out loud. Plain english face to face. Now is that too much to ask? I think not. Maybe I'm overreacting, hell, who knows. I just feel right now that I'm nothing more than second best. I'm probably just taking this all too far. I just keep telling myself nothing and to get over it and that I really don't care, but the truth is I really do. I don't even know. I need to spit all of these feelings out but I feel like if I try it will just be a big jumble of nothing. I don't know. I just want all of those feelings back. Is that too much to ask?