Reflections

Day Two!


I'm feeling great today, got a lot done and now I'm just relaxing and listening to some good tunes. Good times all together. I feel like I'm making progress and I know that's crazy because it's only day two but still.
For some reason I feel a lot happier! That's always good. I don't really have much more to say. So maybe I'll add more later. Maybe not.

Adiosss

Liberation - And We Start With A Clean Slate..

So as you can see I'm in the process of transforming myself. Making myself a better person, living up to my full potential. I know I can do a lot better than what I have been, I'm realizing that and so I'm putting myself to the test. Can one REALLY change for the better? We shall see. So far so good. I haven't gotten mad over anything stupid, and I haven't said anything rude, or even have given attitude. I'm pretty proud of myself. Let's see what else I can do. I really want to be better, I want to be more. I don't want to let anyone down or be less than what people expect me to be. I know how that feels and it's horrible. So as this liberation period, as this small soul searching journey starts to progress, I will write in here. I'm looking forward to it. I really am trying my hardest.


-Day One-

Nonononono.

I'm not a happy camper today. I'm tired, achy, and I want to cry my brains out. Luckily I can hold back. For now. I'm not sure what the real deal is. I'm starting to think it's a bunch of things. I swear sometimes I'm needy, but I'm not sure if it's for real. Maybe I really am just not getting what I need to be getting. I don't know. How am I supposed to? All I know is that it's bothering the living daylights out of me and I can't stop thinking about it. I miss the messages and conversations. That's not what I want. I want it to be said out loud. Plain english face to face. Now is that too much to ask? I think not. Maybe I'm overreacting, hell, who knows. I just feel right now that I'm nothing more than second best. I'm probably just taking this all too far. I just keep telling myself nothing and to get over it and that I really don't care, but the truth is I really do. I don't even know. I need to spit all of these feelings out but I feel like if I try it will just be a big jumble of nothing. I don't know. I just want all of those feelings back. Is that too much to ask?